alien abduction

please press play button. text below…

i’ve come to love abducting aliens, a vocation, i think, unlike any other.

warm summer nights in the forest, a nocturnal symphony under a slowly whirling sky, a wreath of leaves for a mask, a branch for a club and patience, ever watchful patience…

sometimes days, even weeks go by and nothing. but then, every so often, the telltale lights of invaders to our earthly sanctuary.

what glorious satisfaction when the tables are turned and the tree becomes alive.

oh, they protest that they’re actually farmers, woodsmen and the like – but you have to see through those clever disguises.

and it never ceases to amaze how much strength a grey can summon when perhaps it’s been one probe too many. but i remain committed to my pursuit. and in time i will know the truth.

4 Responses to “alien abduction”

  1. Sister

    Is this funny or just strange? Not that there is anything wrong with strange.

  2. Bubbaloogen

    Oh, I seen ’em and they sure is purty. They got’s them purty eyes and they sure got’s a purty mouth. They’s also got that creamy pale skin. Mmmmmmmm. Once I left one outside and the sun shined on him all day. It were sad, but the dawgs had a good feed. I likes me a grey now and again.

  3. Alien_Abs

    Ah, I am, like, really not so happy about you humans finding us out. Do you, uh, excuse me, like, know what you have done?! Know what I’m saying, yo, like, homeboy bobo? It’s, ya know, takin’, like, centuries to master the lingo of you idiot earthlings. Not to like mention the mocking masquerade we have to do on your pathetic bipedalism and opposable thumbs. Man, homie, if only you sad, like, sacks of spittle could see our version of Dancing with the Alien Perplugkerns… Yo, just squeezin’, dawg, into this silly, skin-like encasement every morning these last, like, I don’t know, millennia has really done, like, damage to the superspawn satellites that are supposed to, like, eject from my cretaceous armpits and colonize the mucus membranes of your, like, cretinous nostrils. And yer, like, sense of fashion. That, man, really makes me want to flatuchuggervlophen all over these tasty GM cheerios I shove in my earlobes each midnight. Yo, that brings me down, dawg.
    That’s one big headache, yo, in my titanium kneecaps. Bobo, you be bad. Superbad. An’ that ain’t good, my little, like, sabaceous cyst of a bro.
    Beware, yo, of decorative crop markings in your backyard. Think, man, like, twice when your peaches begin to taste a tad off. OK, we’re here (though not all of us are queer, dawg). But now we’re angry. Really angry. Let, like, the next generation of Reality Programming begin. Ya, like, totally awesome…

  4. lizzy

    Barbarian made me chuckle, both the words and the gorilla noises. I like Bobo’s voice. Missed a few words of the rhymed couplets, not many, but that’s my hearing. Can one get the words on the Web? I tried under the disc but it said it was coming soon.

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